There's a scene where a character tries to kill a dragon by holding it underwater, but she stops when she notices her sister is affected. This happens toward the beginning of the book
Not during the course of the book, but multiple family members who died previously are present as something like ghosts/spirits and still interact with living people.
I don’t think gender has anything to do with it, but there is a character with multiple aliases and different people know or choose different names to call him by